Harry Reis

Harry Reis is Dean’s Professor at the University of Rochester. He helped launch the field of relationship science, and his research focuses on factors that influence social interaction and the consequences of different socializing patterns for psychological well-being. He is the author of How to Feel Loved (with Sonja Lyubormirsky).

Health

How Can We Feel Loved If We Don’t Feel Known?

By Sonja Lyubomirsky and Harry Reis

Many of us tell ourselves “if only” stories about love that seem entirely reasonable at first—stories that fit with what we’ve learned over the years, and that resonate with our hopes, fears, and intuitions. But when we examine these stories more closely, we sometimes find that they don’t hold up.